I chopped off my chemically processed hair, took every class I could led by the master of Africana Studies, Dr. I hardly noticed him at the onset but eventually we began talking and sharing inside jokes and such. There was naturally some apprehension: 1) because we worked together AND 2) because he was unquestionably a white man. As our dates went on for some months, I began to notice the disapproving eyes of people around us when we were out together.“Do you see how people look at us?! He had become my sounding board when I would get overwhelmed and met disappointments in my medical school application process, and I was his “therapist” who eventually got to the root of his cynicism. At some point in all this, I changed jobs to work in my field and we no longer had the “work thing” to consider. HBCU, Afro-turned locs sporting, ankh wearing, and lover of all things Black — falling for a white man.Gregory Carr, and wore an ankh on my body every chance I got. Though I find Black men physically attractive, what I really, really find attractive is the unspoken understanding that exists between me and a Black man of my choosing. I expressed my desire to keep it quiet at work and Mazzi agreed, so we went. He brought up the subject of a relationship and I retreated.From CEO of Norton Anti-Virus Peter Norton marrying Gwen…to Naomi Campbell and Janet Jackson snagging two of the richest men in Russia and the Arab world…Mellody Hobson and George Lucas…Africa where ” business-owning Black African women….phenom is glaring. Even Black men’s media in America scorns and rejects the Black woman’s image as “rat-like,” non-status worthy and not fit for procreation.When I first wrote about my experiences with Bin Laden ten years ago, I also wrote about Condoleeza Rice being chased across North Africa by Moamar Khadafi…I wrote about the song he wrote about her. And during the time that I worked for Khadafi at White Bride I watched one Arab billionare after the other come and go with tall, chocolate African mistresses (and sometimes even wives) in tow. But I remember him buying her a mansion in Italy and an apartment building in London.You can send a wink to someone’s profile you find interesting. In the words of my hero Maya Angelou, “I can't believe my good fortune, and I am just so grateful, to be a Black woman. I would be so jealous if I were anything else.”I learned that “Black” was intended to mean “inferior” at the age of five and by the time I was ready for college I had only begun to learn why I should rejoice in my Blackness. I survived being “the smart Black girl” at majority white schools in this spirit, and rejected an opportunity for full scholarship at a predominately white institution to attend the best university on the globe (naturally a historically black one) -- because of this spirit.Last time we checked, a black woman was still a woman. In that case, resist the urge to think your way is automatically 'right' and theirs is 'different' (read: 'wrong'). You're on a date, remember, with another human being, remember.We're guessing the men who ask this probably don't have much of a clue with any race. Relax."I could be completely loony and totally off base with this," she says.
This one's embarrassing, but some poor misguided folks have dated Funky Brown Chick and morphed into a walking, talking Black Appreciation Parade. She cautions against sticking your foot in your mouth when faced with a differing opinion.
You’re a little self-conscious about wrapping your hair at night in front of them for the first time but pfft, they better get used to it.
Coming to terms with the fact that there are some things about being black that they will just never get, no matter how empathetic they are.
I love not explaining why I tie my hair up at night, or that my skin would burn in beach sun without sunblock. I’d talk about my reluctance to get in relationships (which was true) and he didn’t push the issue. His family was really sweet to me and always invited and included me when going to dinners or family parties.
I love arguing about whether “Love Jones” or “Love and Basketball” was the greatest Black love story of the ’90s. But of course eventually I entered a relationship with him because it only made sense. My family slowly began to pick up on the fact that this was more than a collection of dates and did not necessarily approve. Though I never felt “inferior” throughout the course of our relationship, race was an issue.